Just so you know, I'm not planning on becoming a permanent resident of Mars or anything like that. It may have been a great place to live at one time but Mars is pretty much a cold, red desert these days. It's not much better in the underground where the Grays and Reptilians have their climate-controlled, artificially-illuminated prison for abductees like me who failed the DNA test for helping out the Grays with their biological experiments.Every bottle of Muscatel I downed back in the alleys of Los Angeles was a feather in my cap in that respect. The Grays are nothing but a species of kidnapers and Josef Mengele wannabes. And the Reptilians who run their underground Martian San Quentin for them are just a bunch of loose cannons who enjoy using Earthlings for target practice and even having them for lunch. That's why I escaped on their asses and why I spend most of my time roaming the canals and making videocasts denouncing their evil, lab-rat empire.
Still, I'd like to get off this planet once and for all. I'm tired of living hand-to-mouth and ducking ray gun pot shots from Warden Liz and her sadistic underlings. I'm also tired of ducking haymakers from other homeless bums from Earth who think I might have a Mallo Cup concealed on me somewhere. By the same token, I'm tired of laying haymakers on them in order to rifle their pockets once they're down for sourballs and chocolate leftovers and things like that. But I have no idea how to get off Mars.
I know I'll never return to Earth. Earth is a dead planet that just pretends to be alive. Mars might be run by lizards as big as kangaroos for moral vacuum tubes like the Grays but at least they don't pretend to be the good guys. That's strictly an Earthling phenomenon.
