Hey, just because Red Mouthpiece is now an emcee at Retro Comic Spotlight is no reason for me to stop doing comedy at "The Red Room". Maybe Cydonia isn't Vegas but nobody up here gives a damn about Wayne Newton or Elvis so being the only stand-up comic from Earth pretty much makes Cydonia my town.
Do I get paid for these gigs? Nope. My "pay" is that I get to live. If you can call it "living" to be kept by Reptilians against your will under the ruins of a Martian capital. But, hey, it's better than busting my chops about conspiracies that no one else gives a shit about. So it is.
And, hey, I know my mouth is too close to the microphone and that's why you hear all those "thumping" noises and shit. Everybody knows that by now. Cripes, they know that in Russia by now. You think it's easy being on stage in front of a bunch of drunken Reptilians and homeless, abducted, Martian Underground bums like me and their jaded, heckling dates? Like I said before, I'm not a "Vegas-ey" kind of guy. So I'm not.