Count Me Out

Yeah, yeah. I'm still here in the Mars underground, spreading my conspiracy shit around the solar system. Whenever I get a break from foraging for Martian canal algae, red mushrooms and ancient salt, that is. Or whenever Liz, the bigass Reptilian in charge of the Earthling homeless out here on the fourth planet gets tired of chasing me. My conspiracy shit is as good as anyone else's.

As I've said before, Mars is nothing but an underground San Quentin run by Grays and Reptilians. This is where they dump the rejects after they abduct a bunch of people from Earth. You'd think the very fact that they found most of us living in abandoned cars and appliance cartons would be a big red flag where our DNA is concerned. Regular infusions of Muscatel and Wild Irish Rose are for a false sense of warmth and a bogus feeling of security, not for building red corpuscles.

But back to the point of this posting. Today is the day the United States counts all its people. Yep, today, April 1, 2010, the US Census Bureau tallies up all the information on the census forms they supposedly mailed to everyone back in March. I suppose my mail from the Census Bureau is still on the front seat of the 1965 Rambler Ambassador that used to be my home back on Earth. Unless L.A.'s 9-1-1 people renamed the alley again that I was living in, right off Hollywood & Vine. But who cares? I'm sooo glad I won't have to be counted this time.

I heard about the 2010 census forms. And, you know what? I wouldn't have filled mine out if I was back on Earth. The US government has a lot of nerve to label all the Caucasians in America as "white", without any option to be tagged with any other labels. I mean white Americans are the only goddamn Americans that get called by a single, racist name by their own government. White.

White, my ass. The only thing that's the color white about me was the white t-shirt I had on when the Grays beamed me aboard their flying saucer. The rest of me is either flesh-colored, pink, red, purplish, pinkish, greenish, black-and-blue or yellowish, depending on my recent food and liquid intake, fear, anger, stomach distress and how many times I've fallen down or been beaten up lately.

The only reason I look "white" on this blog is because all the images of me are from original police snapshots, taken with full flash. And whenever I make a video I'm using big-ass bright lights in the old Nazi TV studio under the Cydonia ruins. So, stick the "White" label you-know-where. Besides, what was wrong with Caucasian? What's wrong with European American? It's better than being called "the presence of all colors" because that's what the color white is. Boneheads.

Besides, America should be counting the number of Americans, not the number of visitors, too. I mean, it's nice and modern and trendy and all that for the US Census Bureau to translate their announcement into Spanish, Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese and Russian (apparently, the US Government couldn't care less about the French or the Germans). But the official language of the United States of America is still English. Americans are candyasses for not enforcing that. As far as I'm concerned, if you want to be counted as an American, become a goddamn American citizen first. And if you want to become an American citizen, learn the English language. The rest of us did.