Down and Out in Cydonia

As promised, I said I'd re-post that animated caricature of Liz, the big-ass Reptilian warden who runs this little Martian San Quentin. Now my ass will be in another wringer when she sees it. She still thinks it was me who posted it in the first place, so that's why she'll be gunning for me the second time around.

By the way, I didn't re-post the caption that the real culprit put beneath this animated gif when he put it on the Saturn Outernet late last year, Earth Time. I thought it was stupid. It said, "Liz Licks Bug Butts", which is about as dumb as they come. Which also tells me that the original poster just had to be an Earthling from The Big Apple. Don't ask me why. And, more than likely, he was a former Wall Street stockbroker, probably one of several whose pockets I've picked for candy bars and chewing gum. That's why he posted it in the first place. To put me in Liz's gun sights so she could zap me good and put me out of pickpocketing commission for a while. Which she did.

Incidentally, this dumb-ass animated cartoon character doesn't resemble Warden Liz in the least. In fact, it ought to compliment her because this little lizard is kind of cute, if you ask me. The real Liz, who looks like a cross between Godzilla and Agnes Moorehead, blew her stack over the insinuating caption, "Liz Licks Bug Butts", because it's basically true. Whenever Reptilians run out of mice and big-city hoboes from Earth, they've been known to dine on insects, butts and all.

So, did I give this animated caricature a new caption? You bet I did. Being a hungry, homeless bum in the ruins of a Martian capital is being just about as down and out as you can get. And the only real cure for being down and out is pulling a prank on the one who keeps you in that homeless, hopeless matrix. So, I re-captioned the image of this little lizard licking and licking away to read:

To Liz, from Fred:

"Bottoms Up!"

or should I say:

"Bon Appétit!"

The Fred from Another World

Yesterday I was foraging for mushrooms in my favorite canal (the big one right under the Cydonia Face) when I got snatched by another roving wormhole. Now I look like this and I have to keep reminding myself who I am and where I'm at.

If you ever thought about time traveling via wormhole, forget it. It's definitely not worth the risk. Look at me. Just look at me. I look like a radioactive cartoon character from the 1930s.

I think I smell a rat. A great-big independent, otherworldly rat. Yeah, I mean you, you little indie dork. Now I crave Mallo Cups more than ever. If I ever recover from this, POD Punk, you'll get yours.