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Fred Fortune — "Party Mammal" |
Monday, December 31, 2012
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Fred Fortune's Christmas Past
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The Saturn Outernet Bad Bartender Alert |
If you see this man on either Saturn or Pluto, please call 2-800-NAB-ABUM
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Fred Gets The Call
Author's Note 11-07-13: This video was uploaded by Michael Casher to Blogger. You can't watch this video at YouTube because it does not exist there. That is another Google redirect which is nothing more than a lie to get you to watch other videos at YouTube instead of the uploaded video on this blog post. This new uploaded format at Blogger was introduced in November 2013 by Google without notice to anyone.
Additional Music Credit that Fred Fortune forgot to add to the video:
"Latin Bossa Nova Elevator Music"
The clicking sounds you hear are not in the video. The clicks are interruptions
in the streaming video content because Shockwave Flash data is not being
in the streaming video content because Shockwave Flash data is not being
handled or processed properly by your browser at this time. Thank you.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Lost in Cyberspace
Author's Note 11-07-13: This video was uploaded
by Michael Casher to Blogger. You can't watch this video at YouTube
because it does not exist there. That is another Google redirect which
is nothing more than a lie to get you to watch other videos at YouTube
instead of the uploaded video on this blog post. This new uploaded
format at Blogger was introduced in November 2013 by Google without
notice to anyone.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
Monday, June 11, 2012
No Shit Fred Went Missing
Author's Note 11-07-13: This video was uploaded
by Michael Casher to Blogger. You can't watch this video at YouTube
because it does not exist there. That is another Google redirect which
is nothing more than a lie to get you to watch other videos at YouTube
instead of the uploaded video on this blog post. This new uploaded
format at Blogger was introduced in November 2013 by Google without
notice to anyone.
For information about this video click here.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Fred Went Missing
Don't hold your breath. We don't expect him to return to Mars. Or to Earth, either.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Fred's Nightclub Debut
Do I get paid for these gigs? Nope. My "pay" is that I get to live. If you can call it "living" to be kept by Reptilians against your will under the ruins of a Martian capital. But, hey, it's better than busting my chops about conspiracies that no one else gives a shit about. So it is.
And, hey, I know my mouth is too close to the microphone and that's why you hear all those "thumping" noises and shit. Everybody knows that by now. Cripes, they know that in Russia by now. You think it's easy being on stage in front of a bunch of drunken Reptilians and homeless, abducted, Martian Underground bums like me and their jaded, heckling dates? Like I said before, I'm not a "Vegas-ey" kind of guy. So I'm not.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Little Writer Rat
The more things change, the more they stay the same. Yeah, this is Fred Fortune, not Farnworth M. Mudd, the big-time Benedict Arnold who's secretly been this little writer rat all along. What do I mean? Take a look at the animated gif. file to your left, the one I found in the hard drive of a new-generation laptop computer I saw hidden under Farnsworth's cot when I was snooping this afternoon for pork rinds and Power Bars that he hadn't opened up yet.
Y'know, I can't stand finishing other people's half-eaten stuff anymore. I'd rather eat those stinky Martian mushrooms and that green canal goo they call "algae" here in netherworld Mars and suck on those bitter red rocks for ancient salt anyday than taste slobbered-on, fingered-up, second-hand junk food.
When I asked Liz about these ebooks in the underground cafeteria up here, she roared and gave me a backhand. When I woke up an hour later I was staring at the right big toe of one of Liz's Reptilian grunts who guard this little Martian Sing Sing and I asked him if Farnsworth was really an ebook author.
"He is now," he grunted. "He and the warden are splitting the ebook royalties from your buddy's ebook sales on Neptune. They're rolling in like flies take to shit."
"He's not my buddy," I grunted back as I pulled myself up and into a cafeteria chair. "Are they any good?" I asked, doubtful if this big green-and-brown oaf had ever read a book in his life, in any language.
"Hell, no," he replied, roaring so loud he sounded like Godzilla mauling the hell out of Tokyo. "He can't write worth a damn. Or spell, either. That's why he'll be a millionaire before the Martian year's out."
And that's all I can remember because I think I fainted. The human mind can only stand so much unreality before it shuts down. One thing I do know for sure: the next time I see Farnsworth, he'd better leg it away from me as fast as he can because I can no longer be held responsible for my actions. Anyway, that's what I plan to tell the jury at my murder trial.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Fred Sez Happy St. Patty's Day
Happy St. Patrick's Day from Fred and Farnsworth
I saw this unforgettable movie as a kid and I wanted to embed these YouTube clips for St. Paddy's Day. Too bad the sound only comes out one speaker on the top video clip, but thanks to the YouTubers who posted these. You said it, Disney 'magic" before computer generated images. Erin go Bragh.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Skeletons In The Trunk
Hi, folks. Fred Fortune. No, that's not a picture of me in a "cooking sherry" state of mind. That's a framed sepia photograph of my great grandfather Frederick Fortune from the old country. What old country? Your guess is as good as mine. My family never talked about the old country and I never asked about it. I had other fish to fry.
Hell, I was too busy running Kool-Aid stands and collecting old pop bottles for the two cents deposit and then too busy getting sick on my dad's cigars and then chasing skirts all over Peoria, Illinois, where I did most of my skirt chasing and moving and shaking before I lost it all in Vegas. Then I began roaming the alleys of big cities like New York and Philadelphia and Chicago, and even Pittsburgh and Cleveland, before I settled down in that old, abandoned 1965 Rambler Ambassador in that alley just off Hollywood & Vine. The place I called "home" and the place that L. A. County 9-1-1 called 1965 Ambassador Way.
But that's not the point of this post. The point of this post is that I'm back. Again. Which means that I'm not in a "cooking sherry" state of mind or any other "state of mind". Besides, I don't like sherry. But that's all there is out here on the fourth planet, right now, to get a "buzz" from. You know, I think my great grandfather might have been Irish because when I was just a tyke I once heard him say that sherry tasted like "fairy pee". A boy never forgets shit like that. Nobody but a Mick would have the balls to say that about a leprechaun.
Now, where is that little imp, Farnsworth M. Mudd? I haven't seen him since I found those spy pics of me tending bar on the dark side of Earth's moon. OK. So, I lied about my past. What's it to ya? Whattaya gonna do about it? That's what I thought. Nothing.
Anyway, I found this vintage photograph of my great granddad in an old steamer trunk near the underground cafeteria up here. The same trunk where Farnsworth — once again playing the Benedict Arnold role — apparently found those old snapshots of me tending bar. Spy ring, my ass. Mr. Farnsworth — whose name is once again "Mud" — took those two pictures, himself, while I was setting him up with a Glenfiddich (ooooh, a single malt scotch; it tastes like French Dip and feels like Drano in your stomach but, ooooh, a single malt), a Labatt Blue for a chaser and a big bag of hillbilly pork rinds to munch on. What a pretentious combination. Little lyin' shit. No wonder he was such a damn good trader on Wall Street.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Doppelgänger Spacecast
Author's Note 11-07-13: This video was uploaded
by Michael Casher to Blogger. You can't watch this video at YouTube
because it does not exist there. That is another Google redirect which
is nothing more than a lie to get you to watch other videos at YouTube
instead of the uploaded video on this blog post. This new uploaded
format at Blogger was introduced in November 2013 by Google without
notice to anyone.
This is a spacecast. Use headphones for best audio.
Related Posts:
Friday, January 20, 2012
Fred Calls Home
Hi, this is Farmsworth Mudd, Fred Fortune's "conspiracy theory" co-conspirator. Hmmm, that doesn't sound right. Oh well. Hey, Fred didn't want to post this video after he made it but I talked him into it. He said he looked and sounded goofy on camera and I told him that he always looks and sounds goofy — especially on camera — and that he should just sit back and enjoy it.
When he didn't slug me for that little wisecrack, I knew that he got the picture and that posting this for him wouldn't be an act of betrayal on my part. That's a relief because being a commodities broker on Wall Street made me feel like a Big Bad Apple of some kind, even though I lived in Queens.
You know, Fred Fortune might be the strangest person I've ever encountered in my life and he probably is a homeless con man and an interplanetary thief and an intergalactic felon — as well as the Earthling you never want to become — but he's still more interesting than anybody I ever knew from The Big Apple. So he is.
Author's Note 11-07-13: This video was uploaded by Michael Casher to Blogger. You can't watch this video at YouTube because it does not exist there. That is another Google redirect which is nothing more than a lie to get you to watch other videos at YouTube instead of the uploaded video on this blog post. This new uploaded format at Blogger was introduced in November 2013 by Google without notice to anyone.
Author's Note 11-07-13: This video was uploaded by Michael Casher to Blogger. You can't watch this video at YouTube because it does not exist there. That is another Google redirect which is nothing more than a lie to get you to watch other videos at YouTube instead of the uploaded video on this blog post. This new uploaded format at Blogger was introduced in November 2013 by Google without notice to anyone.
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